I Have Returned

On February 3, 2020 by Karen M. Dillon

So…it’s 2020 and I’ve been inactive on the book front (and this site for about 3 years now).

So, what happened?

Well, a lot really.

I was on book 3 of my series (and had edited book 3 of Josh’s series which he published around the same time as mine). That was back at the end of 2016.

I had started working on another book in the series, but found myself without the time to continue as in 2017 I was doing my daytime job from 8 am to 5pm and was doing an evening course for my Level 7 from 6pm to 10pm.

Basically, I had exactly 0 time to do any writing for a good few months.

Then I got my Level 7 (hooray me) and after catching up on the hours of lost sleep I had time to write again.

However…I had a slight mental breakdown after that point and became far too depressed to do anything except drag myself out of bed each morning. (I’ve had major depressive disorder, panic disorder and social anxiety disorder since the day I was spawned. I was off my meds for about 2.5/3 years by the time I had this breakdown and it was pretty bad)

I ended up having to take 2 days off work, which eventually turned into 2 weeks off work and was placed back onto my medication and sent to see a psychologist again.

Then it was 2018, and though I wasn’t being very productive, I was writing little bits at a time in the hopes that it would be finished eventually.

Josh had started a new job, I was getting on okay in my job and things were starting to look a bit better. I weaned off my medication midway through the year and everything was fine until…

Josh starting having some issues with work, he was being bullied by a person in a position of power and came home every day feeling upset, hopeless and more and more broken as time went on. But, despite how he was being treated, he carried on and tried his best, and I was the best shoulder I could be for him.

During the summer we had finally reached our savings goal and had enough for a down payment for a house (a house in the middle of nowhere as Dublin is way WAY out of our price zone) and after a lot of paperwork the bank approved our mortgage and we bought a house! (more hoorays!)

BUT…at the end of the year, the person who was bullying Josh was allowed final say over Josh’s employment and he was let go.

So, at the end of 2018 we had more bills than we’d had previously (due to our insane decision to purchase a house) and had half of the income we had at the time of purchase.

STRESS!!!

Due to the nature of the bullying that happened to him at work, Josh submitted a complaint to the workplace relations commission for unfair dismissal on the grounds of discrimination (we’re still awaiting the outcome, so Josh will write more details on this at a later date once we have the decision).

Josh was on 2 other employment panels for 2 other jobs, and after passing the tests and the interviews then lost the opportunity for those jobs when he was given an unfavourable review from the manager who bullied him out of the office in his previous job.

Josh has had trouble finding another job since then as he’s so shaken (and traumatised) by how he was treated in his last job that he suffers from panic attacks in most of the interviews he gets.

Taking care of Josh’s emotional and mental wellbeing during this time, along with managing our finances, making sure all of our bills are paid and trying to fix up the property we now have, along with the stress encountered in my day job really overwhelmed me and I had another mental breakdown in mid 2019.

I was placed onto a different type of medication and suffered from a side-effect that made me extremely tired all the time (I was asleep for 3 days – awake for about 8 hours total during that time and for about a month following couldn’t function after being awake for more than 3 hours at a time).

I’m still on that medication now, but have adjusted to the side effects which are a bit less severe than they were.

I took most of my holidays and additional leave at Christmas time, so I’m off for the entirety of January (Yay).

During this time, I’m trying to move on from the last few years. Learn from my mistakes and start taking better care of my mental health on a day to day basis now that I know the warning signs of emotional overload I’m hoping I can avoid any full on breakdowns.

I’m trying to get myself into a routine and taking each day as it comes, trying only to focus on the thing in front of me at the moment (not looking back too long or too far ahead).

I’m going to make writing a part of my routine and my goal for 2020 is to just get the books written and then focus on editing/publishing in 2021.

Anyway, that’s the story of my recent life and the reasons why I’ve been ignoring this site and my books for so long.

Soz – I promise to try my best not to do it again.

Hugs & Kisses from

Karen

Comments are closed.